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Meat the Simpsons

More quotes from The Simpsons: Eating with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Hot Dogs | Snacking with Simpsons | Drinking with the Simpsons | Lunch with the Simpsons | Eating Out with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Candy | Cooking with the Simpsons | Breakfast with the Simpsons

Marge: “I tried greasing the bucket with bacon fat but your father kept eating it.”
Homer Simpson: “Couldn't you try a non-delicious fat? Oh, there's no such thing!”

Homer Simpson: “That's it! I'll go on a hunger strike.”
Marge: “Oh Homer, you couldn't keep up a hunger strike. You eat while you brush your teeth. You're eating a huge sausage right now.”
[Homer answers, taking bites of sausage between words.]
Homer Simpson: “So ... I can stop ... and I will stop ... I'm on a hunger strike starting ... right ... now.”

Krusty: “It's just that saying the brucha brings back a lot of bad memories ...”
[Krusty begins to sob uncontrollably.]
Homer Simpson: “Key Krusty, you gonna finish that meatloaf, or what?”

[Guests at Martin's birthday party start vomiting.]
Martin's dad: “I told you we should have served cake instead of oysters!”
Martin: “I'm ruined!”

Everyone singing: “We are family.”
Bart: “Our bitter fights are now history!”
Everyone singing: “We are family.”
Homer Simpson: “Wolves and cougars ate our roast beef.”

Homer Simpson: “Marge, prepare the celebration ham.”
Marge: “All we have left are the earthquake ham and the condolence ham.”
Homer Simpson: “Marge, they're just hams. OK?”

[Homer shows his appreciation for Santa's Little Helper.]
Homer Simpson: “Well boy, now that we've got you back, I'm never gonna let you go again.”
Lisa: “Uh-oh dad, I think he peed on the rug.”
Homer Simpson: “Ha ha, to me that says I love you.”
Bart: “I think he left a ''big hug'' in your lunchbox.”
Homer Simpson: “Eh, probably that stupid cat.”
Marge: “That cat saved your life.”
Homer Simpson: “What has he done for me lately?”
Marge: “He woke you up when you stopped breathing last night.”
[Homer shakes his fist.]
Homer Simpson: “Yeah, but he ate the last can of tuna.”
Lisa: “Dad, you ate the last can of tuna.”
Homer Simpson: “Everyone's against me.”

Homer Simpson: “Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?”
Lisa: “No.”
Homer Simpson: “Ham?”
Lisa: “No!”
Homer Simpson: “Pork chops?”
Lisa: “Dad, those all come from the same animal!”
Homer Simpson: “Heh heh heh ... ooh ... yeah ... right, Lisa. A wonderful ... magical animal.”

Homer Simpson: “Oooh, 80s party! Where's the beef? Tear down that wall! Because I think the beef is behind that wall.”

Krusty: “Hey, hey, it's your old pal Krusty for my new pork sandwich, The Clogger. If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico.”

Kent Brockman: “From his humble beginnings as a street mime in Tupelo, Missisippi, Krusty clowned his way to the top of a personal mini-empire, with dozens of endorsements, including his own line of pork products. This may have led to one of television's best-loved bloopers, Krusty's near-fatal on-the-air heart attack in 1986.”
Krusty: “Wasn't that a great Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, kids? Well, we've got another one coming right up. First, I've got a hankering for some pork products. Mmm, look, plump, succulent sausage. Honey-smoked bacon. And glistening, sizzling — ”
[Krusty has a heart attack.]

Cletus: “Hey Brandine, I caught us a possum. You want to name it before we eat it or after?”
Brandine: “During.”
[Cletus holds a book entitled "Awesome Possum Recipes"]
Cletus: “Let's see, we've got Possum Pot Pie, General Chang's Possum with Cashews, Possum Foam with Pouch Reduction.”
possum: “Hiss!”
Cletus: “You save your hissin' for the fryin' pan!”

Homer Simpson: “Man! Staying on this all-pork-chop diet is easier than I thought.”
Marge: “That diet doesn't work.”
Homer Simpson: “You have to give it a year.”

Homer Simpson: “Oooooohhh-hoo-hoo! Pork chops with gravy! Wait ... but today's not Pork Chop Tuesday ... or Gravy Thursday!”

Seymour Skinner: “Attention: In Casablanca, the part of Rick Blaine will now be played by Milhouse. Also, the cafeteria is out of buns, so for hamburgers, we will now be using two slices of day-old toast. That is all.”

Homer Simpson: “Oh Marge, I can't stand it when you cry at dinner. The pork chops look traumatized, the mashed potatoes can't stand to watch, even the children seem upset.”
Marge: “My biggest sin is that I date to hope! [Weeps.]”

Homer Simpson: “Oh boy, oh boy! 1 a.m. lovin' and 2 a.m. steak! Night marriage rules!”

Rabbi Hyman Krustofski: “As the Torah says, judgement belongs to God.”
Krusty: “The Torah also says you can't eat ham. And I'm a spokesman for Hamco Ham.”

Lunchlady Doris: “So I have to make 360 Sloppy Joes but I only have 1 pound of hamburger meat. How many cubic feet of styrofoam peanuts should I add?”
Üter: “Assuming 4 peanuts per Joe, 37 cubic feet.”

More quotes from The Simpsons: Eating with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Hot Dogs | Snacking with Simpsons | Drinking with the Simpsons | Lunch with the Simpsons | Eating Out with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Candy | Cooking with the Simpsons | Breakfast with the Simpsons

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