Meat the Simpsons

More quotes from The Simpsons: Eating with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Hot Dogs | Snacking with Simpsons | Drinking with the Simpsons | Lunch with the Simpsons | Eating Out with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Candy | Cooking with the Simpsons | Breakfast with the Simpsons

Marge: I tried greasing the bucket with bacon fat but your father kept eating it.
Homer Simpson: Couldn't you try a non-delicious fat? Oh, there's no such thing!

Homer Simpson: That's it! I'll go on a hunger strike.
Marge: Oh Homer, you couldn't keep up a hunger strike. You eat while you brush your teeth. You're eating a huge sausage right now.
[Homer answers, taking bites of sausage between words.]
Homer Simpson: So ... I can stop ... and I will stop ... I'm on a hunger strike starting ... right ... now.

Krusty: It's just that saying the brucha brings back a lot of bad memories ...
[Krusty begins to sob uncontrollably.]
Homer Simpson: Key Krusty, you gonna finish that meatloaf, or what?

[Guests at Martin's birthday party start vomiting.]
Martin's dad: I told you we should have served cake instead of oysters!
Martin: I'm ruined!

Everyone singing: We are family.
Bart: Our bitter fights are now history!
Everyone singing: We are family.
Homer Simpson: Wolves and cougars ate our roast beef.

Homer Simpson: Marge, prepare the celebration ham.
Marge: All we have left are the earthquake ham and the condolence ham.
Homer Simpson: Marge, they're just hams. OK?

[Homer shows his appreciation for Santa's Little Helper.]
Homer Simpson: Well boy, now that we've got you back, I'm never gonna let you go again.
Lisa: Uh-oh dad, I think he peed on the rug.
Homer Simpson: Ha ha, to me that says I love you.
Bart: I think he left a ''big hug'' in your lunchbox.
Homer Simpson: Eh, probably that stupid cat.
Marge: That cat saved your life.
Homer Simpson: What has he done for me lately?
Marge: He woke you up when you stopped breathing last night.
[Homer shakes his fist.]
Homer Simpson: Yeah, but he ate the last can of tuna.
Lisa: Dad, you ate the last can of tuna.
Homer Simpson: Everyone's against me.

Homer Simpson: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer Simpson: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer Simpson: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer Simpson: Heh heh heh ... ooh ... yeah ... right, Lisa. A wonderful ... magical animal.

Homer Simpson: Oooh, 80s party! Where's the beef? Tear down that wall! Because I think the beef is behind that wall.

Krusty: Hey, hey, it's your old pal Krusty for my new pork sandwich, The Clogger. If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico.

Kent Brockman: From his humble beginnings as a street mime in Tupelo, Missisippi, Krusty clowned his way to the top of a personal mini-empire, with dozens of endorsements, including his own line of pork products. This may have led to one of television's best-loved bloopers, Krusty's near-fatal on-the-air heart attack in 1986.
Krusty: Wasn't that a great Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, kids? Well, we've got another one coming right up. First, I've got a hankering for some pork products. Mmm, look, plump, succulent sausage. Honey-smoked bacon. And glistening, sizzling — 
[Krusty has a heart attack.]

Cletus: Hey Brandine, I caught us a possum. You want to name it before we eat it or after?
Brandine: During.
[Cletus holds a book entitled "Awesome Possum Recipes"]
Cletus: Let's see, we've got Possum Pot Pie, General Chang's Possum with Cashews, Possum Foam with Pouch Reduction.
possum: Hiss!
Cletus: You save your hissin' for the fryin' pan!

Homer Simpson: Man! Staying on this all-pork-chop diet is easier than I thought.
Marge: That diet doesn't work.
Homer Simpson: You have to give it a year.

Homer Simpson: Oooooohhh-hoo-hoo! Pork chops with gravy! Wait ... but today's not Pork Chop Tuesday ... or Gravy Thursday!

Seymour Skinner: Attention: In Casablanca, the part of Rick Blaine will now be played by Milhouse. Also, the cafeteria is out of buns, so for hamburgers, we will now be using two slices of day-old toast. That is all.

Homer Simpson: Oh Marge, I can't stand it when you cry at dinner. The pork chops look traumatized, the mashed potatoes can't stand to watch, even the children seem upset.
Marge: My biggest sin is that I date to hope! [Weeps.]

Homer Simpson: Oh boy, oh boy! 1 a.m. lovin' and 2 a.m. steak! Night marriage rules!

Rabbi Hyman Krustofski: As the Torah says, judgement belongs to God.
Krusty: The Torah also says you can't eat ham. And I'm a spokesman for Hamco Ham.