More quotes from The Simpsons: Eating with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Hot Dogs | Snacking with the Simpsons | Drinking with the Simpsons | Lunch with the Simpsons | Eating Out with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Candy | Cooking with the Simpsons | Meat the Simpsons
Homer Simpson: Bart, can you tell Lisa to please pass the syrup?
Lisa: Bart, tell dad that I'll only pass the syrup if it's not going to be used on any animal products.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup, homeboy?
Homer Simpson: Bart, tell Lisa I only would like to have a nice glass of syrup like I do every day.
Homer Simpson: Oh, Lord! Why do You mock me?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's a waffle Bart stuck to the ceiling.
[Marge pries the waffle off the ceiling.]
Homer Simpson: Lord, I know I shouldn't eat thee, but ... (munch munch munch) ... mmm ... sacrilicious.
Comic Book Guy: Oh, so you're Bart Simpson, eh? Well, since my breakfast burrito is congealing rapidly, I will be blunt. You're too late, I sold your soul last night.
Homer Simpson: Family meeting Family meeting! OK, people, let's keep this short. We all want to get home to our families!
[whole family laughs]
Homer Simpson: All right, first item: I lost our life savings in the stock market. Now let's move on to the real issue, Lisa's hogging of the maple syrup!
Lisa: Well, maybe if mom didn't make such dry waffles. There, I said it.
Marge: Well, maybe if you ate some meat you'd have a natural lubricant!
Milhouse: If we're late for school, we'll miss our free federal breakfast.
Bart: Big deal, it's just Saltines and pig paste.
Milhouse: Ewwwwww, Saltines.
Lisa: I still can't believe we escaped from those horrible vampires.
Homer Simpson: But it was worth it to get back our Super Sugar Crisp cereal. (singing) Can't get enough of that Sugar Crisp ...
Marge: I'm having a hard time seeing. Homer, did you remember to put the fog lights in?
Homer Simpson: (singing) Guess I forgot to put the fog lights in.
Homer Simpson: Barney, I've lost a baby. It's the worst thing I've ever done!
Barney Gumble: Don't worry, don't worry. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make you an omelet.
Homer Simpson: Just help me look!
Barney Gumble: Are you sure? I make 'em with two kind of cheese!
Homer Simpson: Come on!
Barney Gumble: Hey Homer, I think I've got her!
Homer Simpson: Barney, you're gonna pull her arm off!
Barney Gumble: The sooner I get her out, the sooner we can have omelets!
[Barts fills a bowl of cereal.]
Bart: Oh, damn FDA. Why can't it all be marshmallows?
Lisa: Ewww. Bart, don't put the non-marshmallow pieces back in the box. They go in the trash.
Homer Simpson: Oooo, you like sweets, kids? I know a place that's sweeter than sweetness itself. In this sweet place, earthly doughnuts are sour as poison. You'd spit them out, you would. I'm talking about ... the candy industry trade show!
Lisa: How'd you get tickets?
Homer Simpson: The hid them in every millionth Krusty Klump Bar and Klump Bar with Almonds.
Homer Simpson: Awww ... cereal? You know I like my breakfast fried. Or chicken-fried.
Marge: It's a healthy cereal from Europe. Meuslix.
[Marge pulls some gooey cereal from the bowl with a spoon. Homer, Bart and Lisa shudder.]
Marge: They also make Juice-lix.
[Maggie pulls some gooey stuff from her sippy cup.]
Bart: That's Milhouse ... and it sounds like he has big news!
Homer Simpson: Yech.
[Lisa whispers to Homer.]
Lisa: I'll get us out of this.
Lisa: Say Dad, want to go see my project for the school science fair?
Homer Simpson: No Lisa. But I sure don't want to eat this crappy breakfast.
Randall Curtis: Kids, please accept these boxes of Jim Jam Cereal. It's just Alpha Bits with extra J's.
[Homer's toilet seat prank backfires, and he and Bart end up destroying the bathroom.]
Marge: What's all that racket?
Homer Simpson: It's Old Lady Simpson! Run!
Lisa: What's going on?
Homer Simpson: I'll tell you what's going on. I'm taking you all out for pancakes!
[Everyone yells yay and the family arrives at The Flapjack Stack.]
Bart: This place looks familiar.
Lisa: It used to be the Leaning Tower of Pizza. They just painted the leaning tower brown.
Homer Simpson: Either way, everyone who works in the kitchen speaks Spanish.
Bart: I can't believe you're working for Krusty and I'm not! I know everything about that clown! Favorite blintz — blueberry. ...
Waitress at Skobo's: Ready for a snack before they roll you back into the ocean?
Homer Simpson: Yeah, I'll have the smiley-faced breakfast special. Ah, but could you add a bacon nose. But plus bacon hair, bacon mustache, five o'clock shadow made of bacon bits. And a bacon body.
Waitress at Skobo's: How about if I just shove the pig down your throat.
Homer Simpson: Huh!
Waitress at Skobo's: I'm kidding.
Homer Simpson: Fine! But the bacon man lives in a bacon house!
Waitress at Skobo's: No he doesn't!
Homer Simpson: No time for breakfast, Marge. Just give me a banana.
[Homer peels open the banana, throws the inside in the trash and fills the peel with a handful of bacon.]
Homer Simpson: Now listen, I have to work late tonight.
[Homer takes half an orange, squeezes it on a juicer, then fills the squeezed-out half with maple syrup and drinks the syrup out of the orange.]
[Edna climbs down a ladder to escape the Teacher Holding Facility and notices a sign that says "Weight Limit: 135 pounds" as the ladder starts to pull away from the wall.]
Edna Krabappel: Oh, great. The one day I put cream cheese on my bagel!
Marge: Bart, this is a big day for you. Why don't you eat something a little more nutritious?
Homer Simpson: Nonsense, Marge. Frosted Krusty Flakes are what got him where he is today. It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Lisa, maybe you should try some of them.