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 | | | Eating with the SimpsonsMore quotes from The Simpsons: Snacking with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Hot Dogs | Simpsons Eating Candy | Meat the Simpsons | Lunch with the Simpsons | Eating Out with the Simsons | Drinking with the Simpsons | Cooking with the Simpsons | Breakfast with the Simpsons
| Ned Flanders: | | They've broken every commandment except one. | | Carl: | | Hey Lenny, covet some chili fries? | | Lenny: | | You bet. | | Ned Flanders: | | That's it. The whole shebang. |
| Homer Simpson: | | If I don't have the remote, I can just get up and change the channel. | | | [Homer moans and gasps.] | | Homer Simpson: | | Wait a minute. I'll do what Flanders does. | | | [Homer prays.] | | Homer Simpson: | | O merciful god, who has blessed mankind with two kinds of clam chowder, please help me find the remote. |
| Homer Simpson: | | When you have ribeye steak, you must floss it! Oh, that meatloaf tasted great! You must floss it! Now, floss it! Floss it good! |
| | [Lenny places a box of donuts on the coffee room counter at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.] | | Homer Simpson: | | Mmmmmm .... doughnuts ... | | | [Homer wolfs down a whole box of doughnuts.] | | Lenny: | | Hey Homer, slow down. You're gonna choke or something. | | Homer Simpson: | | Don't tell me how to eat donuts! | | | [Homer violently chokes.] |
| Ralph Wiggum: | | The snowflake tastes like fish sticks. |
| Carl: | | This candy is subpar. Any religion that embraces carob is not for Carl Carlson. |
| Herb Powell: | | While you're here, I want you to make yourselves right at home. Any time you're hungry, any time day or night, cook will make you anything you want. | | Homer Simpson: | | Even pork chops? | | Herb Powell: | | Absolutely. We have a tennis court, a swimming pool, a screening room... | | Homer Simpson: | | If I want pork chops any time in the middle of the night, your guy will fry them up? | | Herb Powell: | | Sure, that's what he's paid for. Now, if you need towels, laundry, maids ... | | Homer Simpson: | | Wait, wait, wait. Lemme see if I got this straight. It's Christmas Day, 4 a.m., there's a rumble in my stomach ... |
| Homer Simpson: | | I am going on a diet. From this day forward, I pledge there will be no pork chop too succulent! No donut too tasty! No pizza too laden with delicious toppings to prevent me from reaching my scientifically-determined ideal weight! As God as my witness, I'll always be hungry again! |
| Homer Simpson: | | Donut? | | Lisa: | | No thanks. Do you have any fruit? | | Homer Simpson: | | This has purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit. |
| Marge: | | Mmmm, all this food is so frou-frou! Wooo! Faberge egg salad! | | Cletus: | | Look Brandene, it's Wolfgang Puck! Mr. Puck, you make the only grub what satisfies my gut worm. I swear. | | Wolfgang Puck: | | Try my Rice Krispies squares. They are wasabi-infused with a portabello glaze. And you can buy them at the airport. | | Marge: | | I make mine with M&M's. | | Wolfgang Puck: | | With M&M's? Now that's what I call fusion! I could sell them on the Interweb! | | | [Wolfgang kisses Marge] | | Wolfgang Puck: | | To the Puckmobile! |
| Lionel Hutz: | | Well, we didn't win. Here's your pizza. | | Marge: | | But we did win! | | Lionel Hutz: | | That's okay, the box is empty! |
| Frank Grimes: | | Everything! A dream house! Two cars! A beautiful wife! A son who owns a factory! Fancy clothes and lobsters for dinner. And do you deserve any of it? No! |
| Homer Simpson: | | Check it out. I built myself a healthy apple. | | Lisa: | | But you made it out of ham cubes. | | Homer Simpson: | | Yup. A shiny new apple. |
| | [Marge, Lisa, Bart and Maggie pig out at the kitchen table.] | | Marge: | | There's still more meatloaf. | | | [Bart strokes his bloated stomach.] | | Bart: | | Oh, that's impossible. | | Marge: | | Come one, come one. We all have to pitch in and eat your father's share. | | Lisa: | | Why don't you just cook less? | | Marge: | | I don't do things that way, Lisa. |
| Bart: | | Full speed ahead! Damn the torpedoes! | | Grampa Simpson: | | What'd he say, put on our tuxedos? | | Crazy old man: | | I want some taquitos. | | | [Later, as the boat is sinking.] | | Old woman: | | This is all Bart's fault! | | Jasper: | | Let's get him! | | Old woman: | | I blame him. | | Jasper: | | He killed us all! | | Crazy old man: | | I want some taquitos. |
| Chief Wiggum: | | Afternoon, Homer. Care for some chili? I've added an extra ingredient just for you. | | | [Dramatic pause.] | | Chief Wiggum: | | The merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango! Grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum. | | Homer Simpson: | | Uh, Wiggy? My chili's getting cold. |
| Monty Burns: | | Oh, quit cogitating, Steinmetz, and use an open-faced club — a sand wedge. | | Homer Simpson: | | Mmmmm ... Open-faced club sandwich. |
| Homer Simpson: | | Awww ... 20 dollars!? I wanted a peanut. | | Homer's brain: | | 20 dollars can buy many peanuts! | | Homer Simpson: | | Explain how. | | Homer's brain: | | Money can be exchanged for goods and services. | | Homer Simpson: | | Woo hoo! |
| Grampa Simpson: | | 3 wars back we called sauerkraut Liberty Cabbage. And we called Liberty Cabbage Super Slaw. |
| Shopkeeper: | | I must warn you the doll is cursed. | | Homer Simpson: | | That's bad. | | Homer Simpson: | | But it comes with a free frogurt! | | Homer Simpson: | | That's good. | | Shopkeeper: | | The frogurt is also cursed. | | Homer Simpson: | | That's bad! | | Shopkeeper: | | But it comes with a free choice of toppings! | | Homer Simpson: | | That's good! | | Shopkeeper: | | The toppings contain sodium benzoate. | | | [Homer looks puzzled.] | | Shopkeeper: | | That's bad. | | Homer Simpson: | | Can I go now? |
| Lisa: | | "Come to Homer's BBBQ, the extra 'B' is for BYOBB" | | Bart: | | What's that extra B for? | | Homer Simpson: | | That's a typo. |
| Nelson: | | The thing about huckleberries is, once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned. | | | [Principal Skinner walks up to the group of kids.] | | Nelson: | | Nuh, um...uh, so anyway, I kicked the guy's ass. | | | [Skinner nods and leaves.] | | Nelson: | | Now, if the berries are too tart, I just dust them with confectioner's sugar. |
| Ralph Wiggum: | | My cat's breath smells like cat food. |
| Moe: | | Ahhhh, we're gonna die, and I never tasted cantaloupe. | | Krusty: | | Eh, you ain't missin' much. Honeydew's the money melon! |
| Military school student: | | It was worth sneaking in to town. That was some good corn. |
| Homer Simpson: | | Pass ketchup. | | | [Bart uses his knife like a hockey stick to shoot the ketchup bottle to Homer, but Lisa catches it.] | | Lisa: | | You'll have to do better than that tonight, chump. | | | [Bart shoots a mustard jar past Lisa, and Homer catches it.] | | Homer Simpson: | | I asked for ketchup! I'm eatin' salad here. |
| Bart: | | Hey Dad, why don't we try the Sprawl-Mart? | | Homer Simpson: | | Yeah, I love Sprawl-Mart. They've got everything. Even Christian videos with talking vegetables. | | Pickle: | | Mighty Yamses, we are weary of building your food pyramid. Let my pickles go! | | Homer Simpson: | | Mmmmm Moses. |
| Adult ed guy: | | What is your area of expertise? | | Homer Simpson: | | Well, I can tell the difference between butter and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. | | Adult ed guy: | | No, you can't, Mr. Simpson. No one can! |
| Homer Simpson: | | Kids, your mom is with another man and I need you to help me find out who he is. Hmm, is this really something I should show you kids? | | Lisa: | | It's OK, we're not really your kids. We're just representations of them that you created in your mind. | | Homer Simpson: | | Really? If I created all this, that means I can have pizza anytime I want. Hello, I'd like to order a pizza. 35 minutes? [click!] |
| Homer Simpson: | | Maybe you could come over again. I'll cook you my special microwave burritos. I stop the oven when the middle is still a little bit frozen. | | Marge: | | You know what a girl likes, Mister. |
More quotes from The Simpsons: Snacking with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Hot Dogs | Simpsons Eating Candy | Meat the Simpsons | Lunch with the Simpsons | Eating Out with the Simsons | Drinking with the Simpsons | Cooking with the Simpsons | Breakfast with the Simpsons |
