Oooh, 80s party! Where's the beef? Tear down that wall! Because I think the beef is behind that wall.
Hey, hey, it's your old pal Krusty for my new pork sandwich, The Clogger. If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico.
From his humble beginnings as a street mime in Tupelo, Missisippi, Krusty clowned his way to the top of a personal mini-empire, with dozens of endorsements, including his own line of pork products. This may have led to one of television's best-loved bloopers, Krusty's near-fatal on-the-air heart attack in 1986.
Wasn't that a great Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, kids? Well, we've got another one coming right up. First, I've got a hankering for some pork products. Mmm, look, plump, succulent sausage. Honey-smoked bacon. And glistening, sizzling —
[Krusty has a heart attack.]
Hey Brandine, I caught us a possum. You want to name it before we eat it or after?
[Cletus holds a book entitled "Awesome Possum Recipes"]
Let's see, we've got Possum Pot Pie, General Chang's Possum with Cashews, Possum Foam with Pouch Reduction.
You save your hissin' for the fryin' pan!
Man! Staying on this all-pork-chop diet is easier than I thought.
That diet doesn't work.
You have to give it a year.
Oooooohhh-hoo-hoo! Pork chops with gravy! Wait ... but today's not Pork Chop Tuesday ... or Gravy Thursday!
Attention: In Casablanca, the part of Rick Blaine will now be played by Milhouse. Also, the cafeteria is out of buns, so for hamburgers, we will now be using two slices of day-old toast. That is all.
Oh Marge, I can't stand it when you cry at dinner. The pork chops look traumatized, the mashed potatoes can't stand to watch, even the children seem upset.
My biggest sin is that I date to hope! [Weeps.]
Oh boy, oh boy! 1 a.m. lovin' and 2 a.m. steak! Night marriage rules!
Rabbi Hyman Krustofski:
As the Torah says, judgement belongs to God.
The Torah also says you can't eat ham. And I'm a spokesman for Hamco Ham.