More quotes from The Simpsons: Eating with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Hot Dogs | Snacking with the Simpsons | Drinking with the Simpsons | Lunch with the Simpsons | Eating Out with the Simpsons | Simpsons Eating Candy | Meat the Simpsons | Breakfast with the Simpsons
Ralph Wiggum: Will you cook my dinner for me? My parents aren't around and I'm not allowed to turn on the stove.
Homer Simpson: See Marge, I told you they could deep-fry my shirt.
Marge: I didn't say they couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Gabriel the angel/social worker: Thank you Marge. You sure do love cooking.
Marge: Food keeps my family happy. So I do a few practice dinners before showtime. 'Cuz at 6 o'clock we go live!
Marge: Only three cavities, Bart. Your best check-up ever. I'm going to make you my specialty, butterscotch chicken.
Lisa: Well, I think this family should try more vegetarian meals. We'd feel better and live longer.
Marge: Vegetables, you've been promoted from side dish to entree.
Homer Simpson: I don't miss meat at all. This portabello mushroom eats like a steak. A rubbery, fungus-like steak.
Marge: Kids, I won't be home tonight, so I'm leaving you some low-cal microwaveable TV dinners.
Homer Simpson: Now that I have all this free time, I thought I would do you a huge favor.
Marge: That's nice. What kind of favor?
Homer Simpson: I organized the kitchen. I labeled everything with a label maker. And I mixed all the spices together into one super-spice.
Counselors at Arts Camp: Artists are people who hold up a mirror. Artists make society see its faults clearer. Artists help stamp out of oppression and wars. And when we camp outdoors, we make the best s'mores. Three layers, mother nature. Yeah, yeah.
Counselors at Arts Camp: Artists are the least important people in the world. So whatever you do, don't be an artist, girl. Artists make a living dressing up like a falafel. Artists shed a tear when they're called something awful.
Kids in Sprooklyn: You ain't no falafel.
[Martin hands Nelson $2 to fix up his bike.]
Nelson: Wow, my first job! Tonight I'm having peanut butter and jelly. No more PB or J for me!
Seymour Skinner: When will they finish grading those tests?
Superintendent Chalmers: I hate waiting. That's why I hate risotto.
Seymour Skinner: Even mushroom risotto?
Superintendent Chalmers: WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Marge: Homey, I can't find my spatula. Can you get another one?
Homer Simpson: Flanders, can we borrow your spatula?
Ned Flanders: That was my spatula.
Homer Simpson: And you never bought a replacement?
Ned Flanders: Eh, too much aggravation. We just forego flipped food.
Marge: I'm Marge, I'll be playing Blanche. I made some peanut butter brownies for everybody.
Llewellyn Sinclair: Well, would anyone else like a bite of banality?
Biff Stiffler: What about you, Homer? Why do you hate this ... Flanders?
Homer Simpson: Well, he thinks he's so perfect, with his organized garage and his barbecue grill that never has crud on it.
Barry from Exploration Incorporated: Ladies and gentlemen, mankind's first residents of Mars — powered by Simmer-Time Dinner Sauces.
Paul from Exploration Incorporated: Dinnertime is Simmer-Time ... for sauce.
Lenny: Sorry from dropping by, but we smelled your barbecue and couldn't resist.
Carl: Here's some Carlsaw to go with it. I call it Carlslaw because I bought it.