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 | | | Snacking with the SimpsonsMore quotes from The Simpsons: Simpsons Eating Hot Dogs | Simpsons Eating Candy | Meat the Simpsons | Lunch with the Simpsons | Eating with the Simpsons | Eating Out with the Simsons | Drinking with the Simpsons | Cooking with the Simpsons | Breakfast with the Simpsons
| | [Singing] | | Monty Burns: | | Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby. Get ourselves some snacks. |
| Homer Simpson: | | These courtside seats are great. Thanks for the hookup, Wolfy! | | Ranier Wolfcastle: | | I just want my daughter to be happy. Plus, you eat the pretzels I drop on the floor. | | Homer Simpson: | | That I do, sir. |
| Sideshow Bob: | | Ahh, Kettle Chips ... the perfect side dish ... for revenge! |
| | [Moe heads off to Swigmore University, leaving Homer, Barney, Lenny and Carl in charge of the bar.] | | Moe: | | If anyone wants potato chips or anything fancy, tell them to go to hell. |
| | [Homer runs for cover into the potato chips display when he sees Sideshow Bob (disguised as Krusty) pull out a gun at the Kwik-E-Mart.] | | Apu: | | You can emerge now from my chips. The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone. | | | [Krusty goes on trial.] | | Lawyer: | | Mr. Simpson, was that you taking that cowardly dive into that display of heavily salted snack treats? |
| Homer Simpson: | | Now let's all enjoy the snack table while we still have it. The teamsters said they'd pick it up by 5. | | Marge: | | Yeah, that'll happen. |
| Homer Simpson: | | It's beautiful. It's the most awe-inspiring sight I have ever seen. Giver of life, mother of us all ... hey guys, look what I smuggled aboard! | | | [Homer pulls out a bag of chips.] | | Buzz Aldrin: | | Homer, no! | | | [Homer opens the bag, and chips go flying in all directions.] | | Race Banyon: | | They'll clog the instruments! | | Buzz Aldrin: | | Careful! They're ruffled. |
| Ned Flanders: | | Nachos, Flanders style! That's cucumbers with cottage cheese! |
| Homer Simpson: | | Man, you should come over to our place. It's full of valuable worthless crap. | | John: | | Well, if you're inviting me over ... | | Homer Simpson: | | I practically insist! Shall we say five o'clock? The snacking hour? |
| Marge: | | Oh yes, and punish Lisa for lying to us. | | Homer Simpson: | | All right, young lady, I want you to march yourself directly to the Kwik-E-Mart and get me some chips and a beer. | | | [Homer hands Lisa some money.] | | Homer Simpson: | | Get a little something for yourself, sweetheart. | | | [Homer hands her more money.] |
| Homer Simpson: | | Boy, seeing that stomach surgery made me hungry. Marge, we need 5000 cc's of snacks. Stat! | | Marge: | | No snacks! Dinner will be ready in three minutes. |
| Milhouse: | | I only stole two sandwiches and a bag of Doritos. |
| Seymour Skinner: | | We can buy real periodic tables instead of these promotional ones from Oscar Meyer. | | Edna Krabappel: | | Who can tell me the atomic weight of bolognium? | | Martin: | | Ooh ... delicious? | | Edna Krabappel: | | Correct. I would also accept snacktacular. |
| Snake: | | Gloria, you better tell your boyfriend to be a good little hostage. | | Julia-Louis Dreyfuss: | | He's not my boyfriend. Mr. Burns is. Homer just comes along on our dates and carries us to the bedroom. | | Snake: | | You're dating that old trilobite? Gross! | | Julia-Louis Dreyfuss: | | We're in love, snake. | | Snake: | | Don't say that baby. I'm going to win you back if I have to pistol-whip this guy all night. | | Homer Simpson: | | Pistol-whip? Mmmmmm pistol whip .... | | | [Homer imagines he's eating from a tub of Cool-Whip ... well, pistol-whip.] |
| | [Monty and Smithers walk up to a push-cart that says ''Peanuts $1 per bag''] | | Monty Burns: | | Look Smithers, crackel-berries. Spot me a Federal, will you? |
| Seymour Skinner: | | Say what they will about our cafeteria. I ... I still think they're the best tater tots money can buy. Mmmm. |
| Bart: | | Mom, can we get a pretzel? | | Marge: | | We've got pretzels at home. | | Bart: | | Not cinnamon. |
| Marge: | | I hope you all saved room, because I made your favorite dessert. Store-bought snack cakes. Both kinds! |
| Bart: | | We've heard the same story two times now. Who's side are we gonna hear next? The Sea Captain's? | | Sea Captain: | | No, no, I best me on me way. I'll just take some Teddy Grahams for the road. | | Homer Simpson: | | There goes a good friend. |
| Homer Simpson: | | Oooo, can I have a brownie? | | Marge: | | They're for after dinner. | | Homer Simpson: | | Ooo, can I have dinner? | | Marge: | | You can't have a brownie, period. | | Homer Simpson: | | Homer wants a brownie. I'm gonna get one. | | Marge: | | No ... | | Homer Simpson: | | Coming in from the left ... | | Marge: | | Stop it. | | Homer Simpson: | | Now he's at the right. | | Marge: | | Homer. | | Homer Simpson: | | He grabs for the reach-around. | | | [Marge chops off Homer's thumb.] |
| | [Homer sings along as REM performs "The End of the World"] | | Homer Simpson: | | Leonard what's-his-name, Herman Munster motorcade, birthday party Cheetos, pogo sticks and lemonade, you symbiotic stupid jerk, stir-fried Flanders, I am talking about you. |
| | [Homer, wearing his radiation suit, runs into the nuclear plant's cafetorium, where Lenny, Carl and some other workers are on a break.] | | Homer Simpson: | | Run for your lives everyone! This is not a drill! | | Lenny: | | Pffff ... Oh, right, yeah. Then while we're gone, you take our snacks. Just like you took our money. | | Carl: | | You tell him, Lenny! | | | [Radioactive steam fills the room.] |
| Lisa: | | Dad, it's so enlightened of you to take us a WNBA game. | | Homer Simpson: | | Yeah, well nachos are nachos. |
| Chief Wiggum: | | What is that noise in the background? Maybe I can isolate it. I know I've heard that noise before. Think Clancy, think. Hail falling on a tin roof? No. That's it! Stove-top popcorn. And it sounds like my favorite brand. Chintzy Pop. ... Eddie! Lou! We're going to the Kwik-E-Mart. | | Lou the Cop: | | You already sent us there twice today. | | Chief Wiggum: | | Nah, that was for snacks. This time, it's not personal. | | | [Wiggum, Lou and Eddie arrive at the Kwik-E-Mart.] | | Chief Wiggum: | | I need the name of everybody who buys Chintzy Pop Popcorn. | | Apu: | | Chintzy Pop is the worst legal popcorn. Many of the kernels are baby teeth. There are only two idiots cheap enought to buy this crap. You and ... | | Kirk Van Houten: | | Oh, baby! Is there anything better than video poker and Chintzy Pop? Whoa, I'm looking at an inside straight! Ahhh, someday I'll hear the winning music. |
| Homer Simpson: | | I need change for a dollar. | | Apu: | | No change without purchase. | | Homer Simpson: | | What's the cheapest thing you've got? | | Apu: | | A 2-oz. bag of chips, $5.99. | | Homer Simpson: | | $5.99, what a ripoff. Someone should shoot you. | | Marge: | | Oh, I was hoping we'd miss the 3 o'clock hold-up. I don't know what to do for dinner now. | | Lisa: | | Maybe we could shop somewhere else. There's a farmstand next door. | | | [Homer picks up an ear of corn.] | | Homer Simpson: | | Interesting. It's like a corn dog without the dog. |
| Lisa: | | Dad, I don't want things to be awful between us. I made you some cookies! | | Homer Simpson: | | I don't think cookies are gonna make me feel better. Oh, crunch, mmmm, oh god, oh mmmm, they're delicious. Oh, so happy! Oh, go, they're ... They're gone. |
| Homer Simpson: | | Kids, come back in the house! | | Bart: | | Ahhh, do we have to? | | Marge: | | I melted string cheese over some corn chips! | | Lisa: | | Oh boy! | | Homer Simpson: | | GameBoys and caramel apples! |
| Homer Simpson: | | Wake up! The rapture is coming in half an hour! There's no time to waste. Marge, grill a chicken. No, make sandwiches. And some Kettle Chips would be nice. Original, not barbecue! |
| Homer Simpson: | | Oh no, 239 pounds! I'm a whale! Why was I cursed with this weakness for snack treats? Well, from now on, exercise every morning, Homer. |
| Lisa: | | Listen people. How can you stand there eating snacks and being children when the world's glaciers are vanishing? |
| Comic Book Guy: | | Well, well. If it isn't the square in our love triangle. | | Seymour Skinner: | | What are you doing at Edna's place? Where is she? | | Comic Book Guy: | | My beloved is napping blissfully in the many folds of my Spiderman T-shirt. As for myself, I am popping kettle korn. |
| Comic Book Guy: | | The female has made her decision. Prepare the feast of Goldfish crackers. | | Edna Krabappel: | | I'm not marrying you either. |
| Bart: | | Hey Mom, did you save the love letters Dad sent you? | | Marge: | | Of course I saved them. Although actually there's only one. And it's more a love post card from some brewery he visited. | | Homer Simpson: | | Maybe it's the beer talking Marge, but you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big chewy pretzels here that are [unintelligible] Five dollars? Get outta here. |
| Homer Simpson: | | Must eat more fat people. They got 'em in America. | | voiceover: | | I like big guts and I cannot lie
Double chins with the chafin' thighs
When a dude walks in with the hanging jowls
My stomach starts to growl — I'm getting hungry
So I masticate, chompin' on the overweight
I eat fat people for days, like potato chips by Lay's,
Try to eat just one but it can't be done, I gotta eat a ton
Baby likes fat
Baby likes fat |
More quotes from The Simpsons: Simpsons Eating Hot Dogs | Simpsons Eating Candy | Meat the Simpsons | Lunch with the Simpsons | Eating with the Simpsons | Eating Out with the Simsons | Drinking with the Simpsons | Cooking with the Simpsons | Breakfast with the Simpsons |
